Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
