i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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