I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Drunk is a universal language darling
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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