I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
