i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
