then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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