Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
