yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize