I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
