the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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