i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
