I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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