yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
