I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
