happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
