just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
