Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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