Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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