Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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