does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
