Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
