He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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