SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
