I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
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