dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
