My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
