He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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