Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
