i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
