it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
