I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize