You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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