you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize