dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You made out with two different species that night
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
