Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
