whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
