i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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