so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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