Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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