i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
