A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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