is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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