Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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