I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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