This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
