I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
