Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize