Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
