what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
