He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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