Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Do vagina's smell?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
