69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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