Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
