my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize