I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
