Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I did not marry a roomba.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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