I will die if light touches me.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
