it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
