No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
