What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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