Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
