wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
