Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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