I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I am naked and annoyed.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
